This month’s blog is a reflection on a few very simple things that I find myself turning to in a time of chaos and major life changes. It’s really just a list, and while the items on it might seem simple, they provide me with an infinite and complex amount of comfort, groundedness, and distraction in a moment where time often seems to be slipping away from me and I feel the need not only to slow down but to stop, ponder, meditate, touch, taste, and feel.
Chocolate: Ideally dark and from Modica, Sicily
I don’t have a sweet tooth and rarely eat or order dessert. I’ll always choose a piece of cheese over a piece of cake. But there are times when my body and brain tell me that I could use a little treat. Most of the time, an espresso (black, no sugar, milk, or artificial sweeteners), does the trick and gives me the boost I need to power through the day. Lately, however, I’ve been turning to one of my true loves, dark chocolate. I like it bitter. My “sweet” spot is in the 80-90% range. I usually keep a bar of good, dark chocolate in the house and will break off a square when I feel I need a little pampering. One bar usually lasts for months which tells you just how often I pamper myself.
When I was at the supermarket a few weeks ago, I took advantage of an offer they had on Modica chocolate. If you don’t know what it is, or do know but haven’t tried it yet, consider this your official invitation to bring some into your life. I first tasted it at Antica Dolceria Bonajuto during a trip to Sicily many years ago. Eating cioccolato di Modica is, for me, a semi-mystical experience. Places like Bonajuto use a centuries-old cold-pressing method that prevents the sugar crystals from melting. The result? A grainy texture that releases and intensifies the cocoa flavors and aromas while you eat it. There are so many exciting options from which to choose, but I’ll stick with Bonajuto because they’re my absolute favorite. While I’m a purist (see my go-to choice below), they offer a vast array of alternatives, including exciting flavors like cardamom, ginger, marjoram, cinnamon, and vanilla, as well as more traditional offerings.
Words: read, written, and played with
My name is Fosca, and I’m a word game addict. I’ve always loved crosswords and long for the days when I used to do the New York Times Crossword by hand (in pencil, not pen; I’m an addict, not a masochist). Before doomscrolling in the morning, I complete every single word game on the New York Times app. I rarely have time to do the standard crossword, but while I drink my first coffee of the day, I stick to a very strict routine and order (I’m OCD). I begin with Wordle, followed by Strands, the Mini, and finally the Midi (a fairly recent addition). Because the Spelling Bee comes out at 9:00 a.m. my time, if my schedule allows, I’ll take a break and do it later in the day. If I don’t have time, I’ll try to get it done while making dinner. The NYT recently introduced a new game, Crossplay, and I’m low-key obsessed. You can play against the computer (I set it at the greatest difficulty) or challenge or be challenged by fellow Crossplay-obsessed strangers. I wish I were as good at life as I am at Crossplay. Here’s my best play so far. I was so proud I screenshotted it and sent it to my daughter (a fellow word game lover). Yes, I’m aware that I’m a total geek, but I will never give up this simple pleasure. Also, studies say that doing word puzzles helps offset dementia. I’m getting up there and am not taking any chances.
Of course, my word geekiness goes beyond games. I don’t dedicate nearly enough time to reading, a great love, but when I do, I’m always so pleasantly surprised by how much better I feel when I can get lost in a great story. I’m a huge fan of memoirs and biographies, but fiction is my jam right now. I’m currently reading Donna Tartt’s The Secret History for maybe the twentieth time. I love anything set on a college campus, and this is a novel I’ve often come back to over the years. I’ve temporarily set it aside because I got a notification from Libby yesterday that my hold on The Correspondent (2025), Virginia Evans’ bestselling debut novel, was released (I’ve been waiting for months). I have tried to avoid reading too much about it, but I do know that the main character is an alumna of my alma mater, Bryn Mawr, so that makes it all the more compelling to me. I love Libby, by the way. All you need is a library card, and you can download books, periodicals, and magazines directly to your Kindle. I have a two-week loan which puts pressure on me to finish it quickly (you can extend, though).
Since I also consider myself a writer, I always have ideas for a new essay, story, or book floating around in my head. Right now, I’m working on a series of short pieces on being a single 50-something woman in Italy, while I sketch out the plot for a new book. I’m still pitching my novel, a coming-of-age story set in Florence, Italy, in 1995 that captures the style and mood of the 1990s — I wrote it before all the nostalgia kicked in — the joy and despair of first love, and the magic of unexpected encounters with strangers. Music is a very dominant theme in the book, and each chapter is named after an Italian song that is either culturally significant or somehow related to the story. I even made a playlist to accompany the book, which brings me to my next simple pleasure.
Music, always
For those of you who don’t know, I’m also a podcaster. What this means is that I spend a lot of time preparing for, recording, and listening to podcasts. Since I’m also teaching a podcasting class starting next month, I listen to a broad range of podcasts for research purposes and for my professional and personal edification. I’ve already compiled a list of recommended listens for my syllabus and am working on a bigger list that I’ll share with you soon. While I love podcasts, I recently realized that I wasn’t listening to nearly as much music as I would like to. I’ve always been a music junkie, but I don’t follow new releases as religiously as I used to. I’m trying to change that. In the meantime, instead of tuning into podcasts, which require attention I don’t always have, I’m stuck in the 80s and 90s, a simpler time of semi-innocence for me, before life and the world got really hard. I’m the kind of person who dances around and sings along. Loudly. It resets my nervous system and transports me back to a happier time, even the really dark and angsty stuff that made me feel “seen” when I was an adolescent.
Time in the garden
I don’t have a green thumb. I love plants and flowers, but they most definitely do not love me back. When my partner and I separated almost a year ago, I not only lost a great love, but I also lost the person who devotedly tended to the garden and cultivated our vegetables. I have a gardener who now helps me from time to time so that it doesn’t become a jungle, but I find great comfort in my pseudo-gardening attempts. I mostly clean up, sweep, and pull weeds because I’m far too afraid to do any damage. This time of year, I try to spend as much time as possible in the garden. I like the feeling of my hands in the cool soil as the early spring sun warms my body. I can sit for hours staring at my plum and pear trees as they begin to bloom, walking around inspecting flowers to gauge which are ready to make their debut, or getting lost in the song of a bird perched on a tree in the distance.
Catching up with someone I care about (and who cares about me)
I know I’m a damn broken record, but I will never tire of saying that nothing, and I mean nothing, brings me more joy than talking to someone I love, ideally face-to-face (not always easy since I live very far away from so many of my favorite people and closest friends). I know life gets busy and, as an introverted extrovert, I don’t always feel like venturing out into the world, but when I do, and I see someone I care about, even if it’s just for a quick coffee, it inevitably turns my mood around. If you can’t meet in person, make the call, FaceTime, or Zoom. As things currently stand, time is our most precious commodity, and human connection risks extinction. This is arguably the greatest simple pleasure of them all. Make the time to show the people you care about how important they are to you.