“My grandmother Carmela was my North Star, my safe port in many childhood storms. Strong. Independent. She swept the snow from her sidewalk wearing only a sweater, made her own wine, canned her own tomatoes, strung her own peppers to dry in the basement, and found edible dandelions for salads in the yard. She was the matriarch of la famiglia, whose grown sons stopped by every night after work to eat at her table before going to their own homes to eat again. She couldn’t read or write—not in Italian, not in English—but she was the smartest person I knew. She taught me how to eat pasta, how to cook, how to pray, and how to protect those I love.” Libby Cataldi, It Takes a Lifetime to Learn How to Live: An Italian American Story of Coming Home.
Join me and my guest, Italian American author Libby Cataldi, for a heartfelt chat about her new memoir, It Takes a Lifetime to Learn How to Live.
The book, and our conversation, touch on universal themes such as the immigrant experience in America, generational trauma, mother-daughter relationships, family secrets, sacrifice, the subjugation of women, love, and forgiveness.
Libby and I speak about the disconnect between the real Italy and the imagined one and her first encounter with the country and with Rotondella, her remote ancestral village in Basilicata, where she went “to connect with the grandmother who loved me and to understand the mother who couldn’t.” Libby beautifully recounts this mysterious place that ultimately provided her with answers about her family heritage, relationships, and herself.
We converse about food as “a legacy of love, culture and tradition,” language, and the chasm between regional dialects and standard Italian, how dialect both shrouds and reveals, and the reality of Italy’s Mezzogiorno, a still much-misunderstood part of the world.
The episode centers on Libby’s Italian Americanness and how her upbringing and heritage shaped the person she is today; how, in her words, “by risking a solitary journey to Italy, I found strength—and in doing so, I found the grace to forgive my mother, help my son, and save myself.”
Libby Cataldi Biography
Born in Pittsburgh, I grew up in an Italian family and surrounded by an Italian community. My early years were steeped in faith as I attended St. Mary’s Elementary School and Canevin Catholic High School.
My dad, the patriarch of the family, dictated that I could attend college only if I majored in education or nursing, so I entered Indiana University of Pennsylvania and earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Education. A year later, I applied for and received an internship position at the University of Pittsburgh where I earned both a Master’s and Doctorate. For seventeen years, I was Head of The Calverton School, an independent day school in Maryland.
My maternal grandmother, Carmela—an Italian immigrant from Basilicata who came to America in 1915 during the Italian diaspora—was my primary role model of steadfast love and strength. When life jumped the rails and I found myself collapsing under the weight of my older son’s heroin addiction, breast cancer and a bilateral mastectomy, my dad’s death, and the culmination of twenty-one years at Calverton, I journeyed to Rotondella, Nonna’s village in Basilicata. There, I found family and began to understand how she had become a woman of such grit and determination—the one who protected, loved, and held our family together
Today, my two sons, Jeff and Jeremy, and my granddaughters—Iysa, Monroe, and my love-granddaughter Camryn—fill me with joy. My sons and I joined together to write Stay Close: A Mother’s Story of Her Son’s Addiction. Jeff—who is now nineteen years healthy—and I speak to groups in both the United States and Italy about the hope of recovery.
I divide my time between Annapolis, Maryland, and Florence, Italy. In Florence, I rowed with the Dragon Boat team for breast cancer survivors and served on the board of the International School of Florence. Currently, I’m a member of AILO, a women’s association dedicated to charitable fundraising, and a founding member of the Florence Literary Society. All four of my grandparents were born in Italy, and I hold dual citizenship through my maternal grandparents.
Our family has experienced both miracles and sorrows, but like Pittsburgh steel, we have survived—and remain strong. My sons and I have been through hell and back, but we’re still together—and still staying close.
Today, I live in a space of gratitude. Where there is life, there is hope.
Links
https://www.facebook.com/libby.cataldi
Get the Book!
https://asterismbooks.com/product/it-takes-a-lifetime-to-learn-how-to-live
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Podcast Producer: Andrew Niklas Curtis
Production Intern: Jasmine Kim
Recorded at Faminore Sound Agency, Post-production: Lorenzo Maiani